Last night I had the chance to hear Casting Crowns live in concert. This was a great experience, and very different from what I expected. Over the course of my life, I have spent more than my fair share of time in church. I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to how many different worship services I have attended. Contemporary, traditional, charismatic, blended, contemplative, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, I could go on and on. Basically, if you've ever heard of anyone having a worship service in any style for any occasion, there's a really good chance I've been to one.
A lot of those supposed worship services turned out to be much more like Christian concerts. The worship leaders and musicians were talented, well-rehearsed, and full of love for God, but they had not a clue as to how to actually enter into a state of worship, or even what the difference was between an inspiring performance and an act of worship.
Last night, I got to attend an event that was clearly intended to be a Christian concert, but was actually a powerful worship service. All the trappings of a concert were present, but Casting Crowns has such a strong heart for worship that when they step onto the stage, they just begin to reach out to God. They walked straight into His throne room and invited us to come along with them (which is what a good worship leader is supposed to do), and I'm pretty sure not everyone in the room totally understood what was happening. I mean, there was still plenty of "concerty" stuff to enjoy, even if you weren't sure how to get into the worship aspect.
So I worshipped Jesus harder than I have in years, and when we were done, I was able to see clearly one essential element of worship that I have been missing for a long time. As worship leaders, planners, and attenders, we focus entirely on making certain that everyone gets something significant out of worship. We call it being fed or growing spiritually, or any number of other churchy terms, but the attention is always on what we receive from God.
This morning, I couldn't tell you any specific thing I received from God last night, but I can tell you that everything I had inside me when I got to that arena was poured out before Him, and by the end of the evening I was spent, rather than fulfilled. It turns out that being empty before God is just as much a holy experience as the highest of spiritual highs. Have we forgotten that if worship is to be a relationship builder between us and God, then what we give to Him matters just as much as what He gives to us?
I come to church on Sunday morning with good intentions. I want to spend time with God, and I want Him to be glorified, but I haven't been prepared to come and love God with all the heart, strength, soul, and mind He has given me. It's easy to do it at a concert, when the music is so loud and the room so dark that I don't have to worry about anyone else intruding on my time with God. It's very daunting to consider putting all of myself into worship at church, where everyone can see me, and everyone knows me, and for some reason that escapes me, emotional displays are uncommon.
To be clear, when I talk about giving to God, I don't really mean giving praise, like we're so comfortable saying in church. I'm talking about giving me, whatever I have inside me when I come. It may be love, joy, or some other fruits of the Spirit, but often I'm nothing but a broken, sticky, mess. Is it possible that God wants that too? I only know that if He doesn't, then I'm out of luck. I guess for me it's suddenly come down to this question: How can I possibly expect to receive anything from God during worship if I'm just as full of myself when I leave as I was when I came?
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